5 Weird Beauty Treatments I REALLY Want to Try

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We’ve all read articles about the crazy things that celebrities do to keep their skin/body/hair/nails looking red carpet ready. They spend exorbitant amounts of money trying the latest products or services that promise innovation that will result in perfection. They’ll go through strange rituals or participate in objectively gross scenarios (think: colon cleansing) in order to look their best in every photograph.

As an avid beauty connoisseur, I’ve always been fascinated by the weird beauty treatments that exist out there. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of different ways to simply get a facial these days and, let me tell you, none of them come cheap.

These fantasy beauty treatments are just not realistic for most of us.

Even so, a girl can’t help but dream. These are the five weird beauty treatments that I really want to try.

Vampire Facial

A vampire facial is pretty much exactly what you think it is. This spookily-named beauty treatment gained popularity after Kim Kardashian posted a selfie with her face covered in blood. Nope, this isn’t a horror film, just another way that celebrities try to achieve perfect skin.

Essentially what happens is your blood is drawn and PRP (platelet-rich plasma) is separated from the rest of your blood cells. Then, a dermatologist or esthetician uses microneedling techniques on your face to prepare the skin to fully absorb whatever product is placed on top of it. That’s where the PRP comes in. Your own platelet-rich plasma is placed on your skin for absorption, its growth factors encouraging your skin to be its best. According to Allure, PRP can help encourage skin’s health by, “increasing everything from collagen to elastin, while also bringing antioxidant and hydrating properties.”

To be honest, I’d do it just for the scary selfie.

CoolSculpting

How many times have you seen or heard an ad for CoolSculpting and wondered, “does that actually work?”

It seems impossible. People head into their appointment with an extra bit of weight in places they don’t want it, and leave looking like they’ve spent the last year doing 100 sit ups everyday.

Here’s how it supposedly works: a giant hose-like applicator suctions the area that you want to diminish. It applies cooling plates to the area that essentially freeze your fat cells until they die. That’s the non-scientific version anyway.

You won’t see results immediately, as frozen fat cells take a bit of time to exit your system. A few weeks after treatment, you’ll start to notice that the areas you had CoolSculpting done on will look trimmer and more taut.

Whether this treatment actually works or not (jury’s still out), I’d be down to try it.

Pore Vacuum

I’ve watched a few too many viral videos on this one. As someone who can sit in front of a mirror for hours picking at her skin (you don’t have to tell me that it’s awful to do that. I already know, and I’ve accepted my fate), the idea of sucking the gunk out of my pores sounds INCREDIBLE.

This beauty treatment isn’t too out of reach - you can even buy a pore vacuum on Amazon! I might leave this one up to the experts though, because too much suction can actually lead to enlarged blood vessels near the surface of the skin, leaving you with, you guessed it, a bruise that looks like a hickey on your face. Sephora offers in-store pore vacuum facials where a trained team member can handle the treatment for you. Pore-blem solved!

This device does exactly what you think it does. It acts like a tiny vacuum that sucks all the junk out of your clogged pores. No more pinching, poking or popping. The best part: you can actually see everything that you’ve cleared out of your skin once you’ve finished. Talk about satisfying.

Milk Bath

This one is more for the sense of luxury than anything. What sounds more lavish than taking a milk bath? Inspired by Cleopatra herself, the idea is to fill an entire tub with milk and bathe in it to nourish your skin and calm down inflammation caused by eczema (which I have occasionally) or psoriasis.

It also seems pretty wasteful. But, who am I to judge the first queen of Egypt? If I had a kingdom at my disposal I’d be chilling in milk-filled baths too.

If you want to try a more realistic version of this royal relaxation technique, you can buy bath soaks that contain milk powder in order to experience a similar level of moisturization. It might not be as glamorous, but at least you’ll know that you’re not washing multiple gallons of milk down the drain after you get bored 30 minutes in.

Botox

This list wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t mention botox. While it’s not necessarily a weird beauty treatment by today’s standards, botox is one of those things that seems mysterious and magical to me.

I’ve heard time and again that more people get botox than we think. Because modern results are more subtle than they used to be, we can hardly tell who has taken part. All we know is that some people seem to age incredibly gracefully, with nary a wrinkle nor a jowl in sight.

As botox becomes more common, results are improving and so is the price. This treatment is becoming mainstream now, affordable to those of us who aren’t a part of the celebrity echelon. It’s been said that it can act as a preventative treatment as well, used on younger patients who want to avoid wrinkles before they ever form. My interest has officially been piqued.

Which of these weird beauty treatments would you try? If I ever get the chance to experience any of these, you can bet I’m going to say “yes!” then document it on the blog. Estheticians, dermatologists and CoolSculpting experts, you know where to find me!