Winter Leaves Me Wanting

Winter Leaves Me Wanting |

Winter puts me in a bad mood. It's the season of holidays, school vacations and even my birthday and yet - I'm still grumpy. Winter in Wisconsin stretches on for ages. It leaves me without motivation, without appreciation and with a lot of self-deprecation. Trudging through the snow everyday to get to my car is only acceptable because I have a  job I love waiting on the other side of my commute. I spend nearly every day staring out the window in the morning, hoping that temperatures will break into the 30s. Winter can be such a drag.

In the midst of this dreadful season I've been trying to regain the creativity that I seem to have lost over the past few months. I've been watching YouTube, reading magazines, reading blogs - attempting in any way to gain some motivation to work on my own outlet.

"Isn't it weird that we put off doing the things that we love?"

This was said to me by a co-worker (Hi, Kari!) when I complained about how often I push off blogging. We talked about how we each can spend an entire day in bed, sitting on our phones, watching Netflix, flipping through magazines - a day by all accounts wasted - when we could have been doing something productive, something that we really gained happiness from.

It really is weird. Why procrastinate doing something that you love? Why waste a day, leaving it utterly unmemorable? For me, when it comes to this blog, it's the fear of failure. I put off writing for my blog because I'm afraid that the words won't come out right, that the cool idea that I had for a post won't come to fruition, that nobody will see the post or that they won't like what they do see. Which, again, is weird. Why do I care?

Stepping away from this fear is not easy. Even with the knowledge that this blog is for me more than it is for anyone else, it's still difficult to look past the fact that other people read it - and that they expect certain things from it. I really want to make a change here. I don't want to waste any more days doing things that aren't worthwhile out of fear of failure.

Let's resolve to make our days count. Even if we do just one thing each day that we love, instead of sitting on our phones for hours, instead of being glued to a TV screen, let's live our lives like we should be on a reality show. Would a network pick up your show if all you did was binge watch Gilmore Girls and check Instagram? NOPE.

I don't want my days to fly by without meaning anymore. Maybe it's time for a name change: I'm thinking Keeping Up With Emmaelsewhere.

DreamEmma Leuman3 Comments